26th melt down

This past September I turned 26 and it's been one hell of a bumpy ride. It's a hard age with emotional growing pains and learning to really take care of one's self as an adult. My emotions towards everything are strong with a pain of fear and anxiety.

My fears have consisted of becoming a fake adult who has to fill in my life with societally approved life stages, the pains of a career, and the big one that everyone in America is talking about: money. It seems that I turned around and my friends are lacking lust in the fun carefree parts of life and the things we do to see each other lack enthusiasm. When did everything become serious? What happened?

My anxiety is in the fact that most of my friends are 24 just turning 25. It's a young age and should be lived with passion and a need for adventure. I'm terrified of becoming the woman who comes home from a day of work, makes dinner, watches t.v, and then goes to bed. It makes me want to scream my head off when I think of that. I don't want to be afraid of going places and learning. My creative side is dry, needing water. It's craving a boost so much that it hurts. Which makes it hard sometimes to want to always learn, experience, and live for a life of my own. IS this me becoming a 20something blogger writing about the pains of these short years? If it is, I would like a smooth ride with some grace and minus the stress. Thank you.
  









Image via  

May I Feel Said He

may i feel said he
(i'll squeal said she
just once said he)
it's fun said she
 
(may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she
 
(let's go said he
not too far said she
what's too far said he
where you are said she) 

may i stay said he
which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she

may i move said he
is it love said she)
if you're willing said he
(but you're killing said she

but it's life said he
but your wife said she
now said he)
ow said she

(tiptop said he
don't stop said she
oh no said he)
go slow said she
 
(cccome?said he
ummm said she)
you're divine!said he
(you are Mine said she)




"May I Feel Said He" by e e cummings

via google

And by the way, everything in life is writable about if you have the outgoing guts to do it, and the imagination to improvise. The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt.

-Sylvia Plath

Summer in September

It's September. LA this weekend will be cooler but by Monday it's going to be Summer in September. All I wanna do is wear pantyhose, black 60s hot pants, boots, and red sweaters. Maybe mixed in there to feel like a Hitchcock character wearing those pantyhose. 

It's the weekend so enjoy this Gena Rowlands photo.

Photo via Google

David Lynch

"This whole world is wild

at heart and weird on top"

- David Lynch

image via google

Georgia On My Mind

Last week, I was sitting in my home in Georgia with my family and friends.  I wish I could say that I took tons of photos but sadly I did not.

Here are some of my favorite things I did:

I ate biscuits almost everyday and had no remorse.

I saw one of my favorite people that I hadn't seen in 5 years! Miss Shari Arnold, who is still the same smart, hard working, driven girl I met in the 3rd grade.

I got to watch as many of those god awful romantic comedies, that no one would see with me in the theaters.

I was reading like a mad women. My book of choice was Something Borrowed and I'm loving it.

I got to spend time with one of my best friends, Heidi ho, my grandparents from Oklahoma, my parents, and of course Cooper boy.

Till next time,

L

Cooper Boy

Summer in the city

 

The Lovin Spoonful

   There is cheese-free pizza cooking in the oven while loverboy sleeps in the bedroom. I`m drinking a Stella and listing to bee bop on my new old sofa. This funny little happy feeling comes all over me because it`s the first time in weeks that I feel calm.  My nerves were shot from moving and on top of that dealing with school. I felt as if I were a chicken with its head cut off, flopping everywhere.  My attention span and communication skills were zero to null but somehow I managed.

   SO I now have a break from school and it finally feels like summer. Summer in the city and that can mean a lot of things. To me it can sometimes mean being lonely with a desire to just feel but I'm not lonely anymore. Now its meaning is a new desire to explore and to take action on the things I've been avoiding...  Did I mention there was pizza cooking in the kitchen???