All I Want For Christmas (!)

My boyfriend love was sweet and covered All I Want For Christmas. I love it. & him & his voice.

New Life On Ohio Ave

Yellow Springs,Ohio

A little weekend trip to Yellow Springs, Ohio: The cutest little town..Mike's Grandma Rose turned 92 with a family birthday bash. It was a really fun time and we were sad to say goodbye. 

Young & Free

 These photos are from 2009 and one of my favorite nights filled with the former band The Widows, summer heat, beer, Hollywood history, dancing, pizza, friends and Wolfmother. If I could have more nights like this one I would. Young&Free. 

Links to my current crushes:

How to do a perfect knot

A Daisy dress

A t.v show that is saving my sanity

 

Dolly Parton and Dust Balls

Summer of 08'

The Summer of 2008 was my last summer to feel free like a teenager running games in the night. My hair was short like a boy's because I was seeking liberation from a man. The air was sticky and filled with longings of love while living in a house of five dramatic boys. Our plates were filled with slime and our toes constantly dusty with dust balls. We were craving for something to break us free from our daily existences.
 Dolly Parton became my roommate and I's closest companion even if we played only the same single of hers over and over. She seemed to coo us with tails of our Southern homes on every replay. We needed to find love and to be in love. Our summer became a search for someone important to us. We partied, devoured films, read books, and wrote words into our papers but nothing seemed to fulfill the void of longing to be loved.
Something changed mid-to-late summer while we tried to relate our feelings to one another.  Something had shifted inside me. I was starting to go a different direction while my friend stayed put. I could no longer talk about how there was no one to crush on. Someone had said hello to me, leaving me wanting more. My actual love story was just beginning.

Summer in the city

 

The Lovin Spoonful

   There is cheese-free pizza cooking in the oven while loverboy sleeps in the bedroom. I`m drinking a Stella and listing to bee bop on my new old sofa. This funny little happy feeling comes all over me because it`s the first time in weeks that I feel calm.  My nerves were shot from moving and on top of that dealing with school. I felt as if I were a chicken with its head cut off, flopping everywhere.  My attention span and communication skills were zero to null but somehow I managed.

   SO I now have a break from school and it finally feels like summer. Summer in the city and that can mean a lot of things. To me it can sometimes mean being lonely with a desire to just feel but I'm not lonely anymore. Now its meaning is a new desire to explore and to take action on the things I've been avoiding...  Did I mention there was pizza cooking in the kitchen???

A Brief Summary: journey for a bearded man

 By the time spring of Jenny Craig rolled around, I was tired of men. I was confused on a lot of levels by boys and still wasn't making that full connection with anyone. If I couldn't think past a certain point about whatever crush I had that week, I became cold because I knew it wasn't going anywhere. I would never throw myself into anything, except maybe the stories being told at work inside a box because it was safe and nothing was going to come out of it. My journey to meet a bearded man was starting to take a toll on me.

 My consultant at JC was a young, tall, long haired,bearded man, who was sweet and easy to talk to. He never made me feel self-conscious about the weight I was losing, which was a first for me. He was also one of the boys that taught me how to talk to men in a open way, without being shy about it. Somewhere along the way he developed a crush on me. At first I was okay with going on dates with him, but something snapped inside me. I felt sad and angry that he liked me. He was someone that I felt like I didn't have to worry about. He was relentless in the way I wished for someone to be with me, but I just kept leaving him hanging. Even going so far as standing him up on dates. Something just didn't feel right about it.

 Finally on July 5th, 2008, my bearded fellow walked into my life. He had long red beard, with long blonde hair, and a tan headband on. Once he finally walked over to me, introduced himself, the world seemed to disappear and all I saw was him. As corny as that sounds, it really is the truth. He was warming my heart to love with his kind words of interest.

July 5th, 2008.  First meeting.

A Yankee meets a Georgia Peach

 

24th birthday

  My special musician boyfriend is a Yankee. The kind of Yankee that bleeds American blue politics which is at times a very interesting cute mix with my libertarian/ mildly conservative ways of thinking. I`m a young woman who comes from the South. Growing up in Georgia I found it hard to be myself. Everyone I guess finds it hard to be themselves. Some seem more graceful about it early on while others "grow into themselves." Some maybe lose their way and some never find themselves.
  As a young girl (teenager) I was always determined to know who I was, what I liked, and to find more of something that seemed to fit me. Making it somewhat of a pain for me to relate to my girlfriends at the time. I had no true interest in boys. Of course I longed for a simple sweet relationship but my feelings were fleeting. At times I thought I should like someone--that was what girls did, right? But boys seemed to make my friends act nuts and at the core of it I wanted nothing to do with that.  It wasn't until later that I realized it was fine that I didn't have multiple relationships in high school. Thank you Jesus! My head was and is filled with ideas of going to California to be an actress. My boyfriend would be somewhere out there. Finally God graced me with the opportunity to go to school in Hollywood.
  I was shocked, my parents were shocked and maybe some friends were too. My parents are still in stock to this day that I made my move.  Life in Hollywood took some time to get used to. I felt as if I was in a haze that only disappeared 3 years later. Slowly, while the fog left me, I began to work in a special effects shop.  The year that I worked there was when I began to learn to move in my body as ME. But the boyfriend that I was looking for was not showing up. It seemed I had met every other Mike in Los Angeles before the right Mike walked over to me to say hello.
  He`s an imperfect blue Yankee and I`m an imperfect Georgia Peach. We defiantly have our own opinions and speak them. But we are learning all the time how to make compromises. He`s a Yankee that makes me laugh and fills me with love.

Rooney - Tell Me Soon

 

I have a deep deep love for a band named Rooney. Anyone that knows me really well and sometimes not so well knows how true this is. It all happened in the 8th grade, when watching The Princess Dairy`s at my grandparents house in Houston. When a boy came on the screen with shaggy hair and a bitten smile across his face, my heart fell. I was hooked and curious on who he was, so like any good 8th grader I looked him up on the internet. He`s name was Robert Schwartzman. Then under another link, was to a band name Rooney that he happened to be in. This link was opening so many cans of worms for my younger girl days. They were four boys living in Los Angeles with a tight style that I had never seen on boys before. Maybe in my dreams or in movies but never something semi close to my age. There music made me want to dance and was way a to let me break free from school and my very self conscious self. 

On a very horrible freshman Spring Break in Tampa, I was reading Elle Girl to pass some time. I came across a small article with Mr.Schwartzman in it. The one thing that stuck out in my brain was the fact that he liked the band The Cars. Being someone who loves 80`s music and loves The Cars couldn't believe a boy would like them. All of the boys I knew made fun of me for liking 80`s music. It went out side of their box of rap and country. My heart swelled with hope that something was out there for me. Boys like that would get me.

Finally in the 10th grade I got to see my first show. It was a amazing fun night for me. I was free with the city lights of Atlanta bouncing around me and felt a happy high of possibility`s of anything. I could be me and not be judged. Over my high school years I frequented their shows with the same happiness of my first.

My goal was to figure out a way for me to get to Los Angeles to pursue my dreams. I did, landing a slot in the school AMDA. My first week was one of shock. New location, away from the comfort home and new faces starring at me, wanting to know more. It was all a bit over whelming.

 My new friendly acquaintance Ali Vesey took me to my first In-N-Out on Sunset. Walking in I discovered to my surprise, in the line to order was Louie (the keyboardist in Rooney). I quickly explained everything to Ali. Her being a bit bolder then myself at that time went to where he was standing. We ended up chatting with him and hes mustached cousin for a little awhile. Eventually after our food was eaten we had to leave, but before we left Louie asked for my phone number. I was on cloud nine and still in shock. He never called though. Life moved forward leaving my first week in LA behind and entering the five year mark this past August. My love for Rooney is now of fondness . They still make me giggle but I think from what I can tell, they have grown into some pretty nice gentlemen.        

   

 

Rooney gave me hope.Without hope life would be very different now. They gave me hope during my school years.Which at times were very difficult and they created a outlet for me. Moving away from home gave me a different view of the band. It was then of comfort. These past five years have been of shedding old insecurity`s, figuring out what I want and need out of life, making great friends, feeling apart of something, discovering old friends again, dancing freely, smiling more,jumping in to creative parts, losing myself, finding myself once more and never again will I be afraid to be who I am. I even found my own special musician boyfriend who loves The Cars. We haven't seen a Rooney show together yet but soon very soon.

 

A photo of my special musician boyfriend. He spills light from his head.
P.S. He no longer has a beard of that size.





Images via Google and Miller computer.