10.17.2011

26th melt down


This past September I turned 26 and it's been one hell of a bumpy ride. It's a hard age with emotional growing pains and learning to really take care of one's self as an adult. My emotions towards everything are strong with a pain of fear and anxiety.

My fears have consisted of becoming a fake adult who has to fill in my life with societally approved life stages, the pains of a career, and the big one that everyone in America is talking about: money. It seems that I turned around and my friends are lacking lust in the fun carefree parts of life and the things we do to see each other lack enthusiasm. When did everything become serious? What happened?

My anxiety is in the fact that most of my friends are 24 just turning 25. It's a young age and should be lived with passion and a need for adventure. I'm terrified of becoming the woman who comes home from a day of work, makes dinner, watches t.v, and then goes to bed. It makes me want to scream my head off when I think of that. I don't want to be afraid of going places and learning. My creative side is dry, needing water. It's craving a boost so much that it hurts. Which makes it hard sometimes to want to always learn, experience, and live for a life of my own. IS this me becoming a 20something blogger writing about the pains of these short years? If it is, I would like a smooth ride with some grace and minus the stress. Thank you.
  









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10.10.2011

May I Feel Said He

may i feel said he
(i'll squeal said she
just once said he)
it's fun said she
 
(may i touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she
 
(let's go said he
not too far said she
what's too far said he
where you are said she) 

may i stay said he
which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she

may i move said he
is it love said she)
if you're willing said he
(but you're killing said she

but it's life said he
but your wife said she
now said he)
ow said she

(tiptop said he
don't stop said she
oh no said he)
go slow said she
 
(cccome?said he
ummm said she)
you're divine!said he
(you are Mine said she)





"May I Feel Said He" by e e cummings