When I went away to AMDA, I was sure that everything in my life was about to change. It in some ways did. Every morning seemed exciting with different personalities flying everywhere. Some where strong, loud, bold, quiet, a whisper, weak, confused--and all having a desire to perform.
My first semester was a daze, with new feelings flying all around me. It started off with grace but slowly turned into a spiral of wide eyes. I had some major personal loss within the span of two weeks in November of 2005. I was far away from my friends and family making it very hard for me to communicate about what happened. The ones in Georgia understood what the loss felt like, some more than others but they were so far away.
Slowly my emotions gave way to food and I gained about 20 pounds from my first semester to my last semester of AMDA. Yes, I was a victim of the freshman fifteen plus some. I felt numb and unsure. This wasn't the girl I was supposed to become or even wanted to become. I had a tired anger for myself. AMDA was an emotional roller coaster leaving me feeling empty most of the time.
The empty feeling carried over to make-up school. I felt so unhappy because all I wanted to do was change. I NEEDED to change for myself. Once make-up school ended, I went home to visit my family. While there I cut my hair into a short bob and bleached my hair even blonder. It was a start to something new... But my change wasn't completed until I joined Jenny Craig....